Showing posts with label Nora Ephron. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nora Ephron. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

About Love

Heart Burn is Nora Ephron’s roman-à-clef based on her marriage and divorce from her second husband, Carl Bernstein in real life.

In Ephron’s words,

In the book, I thinly disguised myself by making myself considerably more composed than I was at the time

In the story, Rachel Samstat, aged 38, a food writer  is married to Mark Feldman who is a political journalist. When  she is seven months pregnant, expecting their second child, she finds out about her husband’s affair with Thelma Rice. On discovering about the affair, she leaves Washington with their toddler, Sam, takes the shuttle to New York and stays in her father’s apartment . Then Mark comes to New York and tells her that he wants her to go home.

The story is narrated in Rachel’s voice.

‘ “I’m not coming home if you’re going to see her anymore,”I said.

“ I’m not going to see her anymore,” he said. ‘

Mark starts to cry and Rachel cannot believe it because in her narration ‘if anyone was entitled to cry in this scene, it was going to be me; but the man had run off with my part.’

Rachel narrates,

 ‘ There has been a lot written in recent years about the fact that men don’t cry enough. Crying is thought to be a desirable thing, a sign of a mature male sensibility, and it is generally believed that when little boys are taught that it is unmanly to cry, they grow up unable to deal with pain and grief and disappointment and feelings in general. I would like to say two things about this. The first is that I have always believed that crying is a highly overrated activity : women do entirely too much of it, and the last thing we ought to want is for it to become a universal excess. The second thing I want to say is this : beware of men who cry. It’s true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.’

Rachel .goes back with him only to find out that he has not broken up with Thelma. After giving birth to their second child, she plans to leave Mark. When she is in the hospital,  Marvin, her obstetrician asks her if she believes love. She says she does.

Here is Rachel’s take  about love.

‘ Sometimes I believe that love dies but hope springs eternal. Sometimes I believe that hope dies but love springs eternal.  Sometimes I believe that sex plus guilt equals love, and sometimes I believe that sex plus guilt equals good sex. Sometimes I believe that love is as natural as the tides, and sometimes I believe that love is an act of will. Sometimes I believe that some people are better at love than others, and sometimes I believe that everyone is faking it. Sometimes I believe that love is essential, and sometimes I believe that the only reason love is essential is that otherwise you spend all your time looking for it.’

Rachel  ends the marriage when  they are at a friend’s place for dinner and they happen to be talking about one of their common friend’s marriage . It dawns on her that she cannot pretend it is okay even though she is terrified of being alone, she will just rather not sit and try to figure  out how to get him to love her again. Kudos to her.

Rachel  was once asked by her friend Vera about why  she had to turn everything into a story.

In her narration,

‘ Because if I tell the story, I control the version.

  Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me.

Because if I tell the story, it doesn’t hurt as much.

Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it.’

Heart Burn is a bittersweet story. Ephron’s second marriage ended exactly the way the one in Heartburn does but most of the characters and many of the things  in Heartburn are entirely fictional, some of the things happened to her friends and more importantly she was never a food writer. In Heart Burn, Rachel offers us some of her favourite recipes.

Nora Ephron, the screen writer for Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry met Sally died in 2012 at the age of Seventy-one.  I would love to watch these films again.

In Weather by Jenny Offill, Lizzy Benson is a librarian, married with Ben and they have a son named Eli. She was Sylvia's grad student and Sylvia pulled some strings to get her the library job even though she does not have a proper degree for it. Sylvia pays her to answer her email and to travel with her to keep track of things when she goes to conferences. Sylvia wants to set up a foundation to 'rewild half the earth'. They have dinner with people from Silicon Valley. Some of them are donors for her podcast. But these men are more interested in current technology, de-extinction and genetic-engineering. The young techno-optimist guy who is seated next to Lizzy opines that when all those who are unnerved by the current technology are no longer around, there will only be talk of what has been gained. Lizzy says to him,

'But wait , that sounds bad to me. Doesn't that mean if we end up somewhere we don't want to be, we can't retrace our steps? '

The young guy ignores her utterance and goes on to list all the ways he and his kind have changed the world and will change the world. In Lizzy's narration,

' He tells me that smart houses are coming,that soon everything in our lives will be hooked up to the internet of things, blah,blah,blah, and we will be connected through social media to every other person in the world. He asks me what my favoured platforms are.

I explain that I don't use any of them because they make me feel too squirrelly. Or not exactly squirrelly, more like a rat who can't stop pushing a lever.

He looks at me and I can see him calculating all the large and small ways I am trying to prevent the future. " Well, good luck with that , I guess," he says.

Sylvia says, 'These people long for immortality but can't wait ten minutes for a cup of coffee'.

As the story progresses, we know that Sylvia is losing heart in her project trying to tell the mass that humans are nothing particular special and we should give more regards to the other creatures on earth.

Bali 2008

Aside from worrying about climate change, Lizzy also worries about her former drug addict brother, Henry and her mother. Lizzy just had her birthday. Though she is feeling existentialist blues but it is not all despair as she has family members whom she cares for.

Lizzy has a good sense of humour.Those who come to the library include an adjunct who has been working on his dissertation for eleven years and she has to spend time pulling books for him and then gives him reams of copy paper, binder clips and pens, 'the man in the shabby suit who does not want his fines lowered' because he is pleased to contribute to the institution, ' the blond girl whose nails are bitten to the quick stops by after lunch and leaves with a purse full of toilet paper' and there is the lonely heart engineer.

Here is an anecdote about her work day at the library on campus. In her words,

'I brave a theory about vaccinations and another about late capitalism. " Do you ever wish you were thirty again?"asks the lonely heart engineer. "No, never," I say. I tell him that old joke about going backward.

We don't serve time travelers here.

A time traveler walks into the bar.'

Sylvia calls her. Lizzie talks about the mystics to her mentor.

' " Of course, the world continues to end," Sylvia says, then gets off the phone to water her garden.'

Offill's avant-garde style of writing reflects with wry humour on how we live through the musings and narratives of Lizzy Benson about her fears for climate change and contradictions . Interesting style of writing. Though the narrations are fragmented, they effectively tell about contemporary life in the present world setting. Insightful and thought-provoking.

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Love Happens





London,Feb2017

I recall how I used to go to the General Post Office in Sydney to make a phone call home on the eves of Lunar New Year when I was not able to be home for the festive season. I  would collect sufficient coins to place a call that lasted only several minutes. I could not have imagined that when my daughters were away three decades later, I could reach them via skype or FaceTime wherever I was so long as I had my smartphone that was loaded with data or where wifi connection was available.

In this information-overloaded era where everyone owns a smartphone, every update is one click away if you own a smartphone. What is important now is to make sense of information and process them, differentiate between misinformation and reliable information. I find that it is equally important to make it a point to stay away from our phones to give us the headspace that is much needed every so often.

While I appreciate the convenience and efficacy of electronic communications, I miss how I used to be so very pleased to see the postman in anticipation of a letter from my favourite pals.  It was often sheer joy to receive letters or postcards from friends and acquaintances.  I would study the stamp, cut it out and soak it in water before gently removing it from a scrap of the envelope. It was such a delight to receive those handwritten letters and pen my replies to them. I would marvel at the handwritings of the senders. When I was seventeen going on eighteen, I must have fallen for the writing of this boyfriend and his voice as he used to send me letters and cassettes with a recording of his voice messages. My heart sank when I met him again at the airport, I wonder what happened. It might have been all that giddiness in preparation for my study abroad and leaving home for the first time that had clouded my judgment at the time.

To quote Nora Ephron :

I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”

Amidst all my multiple reads, I usually like to pick up a rom-com for a fast and fun read particularly in these disorientating and challenging times.

Would like to Meet written by Rachel Winters is a charming story.  It is certainly a delightful read painted with  a vivid description of the café and places around London as the story unfolds. It definitely reads like a movie script. The protagonist, Evelyn Summers is young, conscientious, quirky and a workaholic. She is known to her friends as Evie and while she works in London, away from her close friends in Sheffield, her hometown,  they stay connected via JEMS (Jeremy, Maria, Evie, Sarah ) WhatsApp chat group. The story begins with Evie going to Gil’s café in South London and she hopes to experience an amusing or charming first encounter that leads to falling in love just like in romantic comedies. She is actually doing it to save her job as an assistant to Montgomery, the TV and film agency that is in danger of closing shop if their star client, Ezra Chester does not deliver the film script within three months.  She needs to get Chester to write the rom-com script. Since winning the Oscar for his movie script, Chester has been hailed one of the hottest talent in Hollywood but  Chester is arrogant and conceited, he has not produced another script for Montgomery. Now he has a deadline to meet as some producers have commissioned him to write a rom-com, a genre that he scorns at.

Evie’s friends and her call Ezra NOB ( Number One Boychild). NOB is suffering from a writer’s mental block as he does not believe in meet-cutes. She has to convince Ezra aka NOB that one can definitely fall in love just like how it happens in all the meet-cutes in the movies so she sets out enacting or creating credulous meet-cute scenes with a hope to find romantic love. In that process, Evie embarrasses herself but she does find love in the unlikely places but rather predictable for the readers. As she challenges herself through all the meet-cutes and churning out reports to Ezra with a view to inspire and help him in finishing the script, she learns about who she is and what she really wants in her life. She realizes that she has spent seven years working three persons’ job with hardly any social life, doing everything her boss Monty asks her to do without complaint. She finally begins to stand up for herself more, becomes empowered  and come into her own person.

Would like to Meet by Rachel Winters is packed with hilarious and outrageous situations that Evie lands herself in but the characters in the story are credible. Evie has supportive and fun-loving friends who warm your heart and amidst all those outlandish meet-cute situations that have gone awry, she finally finds her love. It makes me want to watch When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill and the likes again. In the meantime, I have far too many good reads and time is precious, watching these rom-coms again will be the perfect escapade when I badly need one.