Everybody knows

In Everything I never told you the debut novel by Celeste Ng, Lydia is the favourite child of Chinese-American parents, Marilyn and James Lee who have three children.  The story is set in 1970s Ohio. The story begins with sixteen-year-old Lydia’s death. When her body is found in the local lake, the delicate fabric  that has been keeping the Lee family together is broken, shattering not only her parents’ unfulfilled dreams of their own, sending the family life into disarray. Throughout the years, by their actions, they have unwittingly alienated their son, Nath who has  unsuspectingly turned out to be the one who has been aiming high so he can leave home. Their youngest daughter, Hannah is the quiet observer. She is sweet, sensitive and perceptive. Your heart goes out to Hannah when  she  tries to stay out of the way for everyone in her family. “ All her life, Hannah had hovered at a distance from her brother and sister, and Lydia and Nath had tacitly tolerated their small, awkward moon.” But Hannah  sees things that the parents and her siblings do not see as she is instinctive and a keen observer. Lydia has always been the favourite of their parents. One of the reasons is that she looks like Marilyn except the hair colour. She has blue eyes and dark ink-black  hair instead of  their mother’s honey-blond. Nath and Hannah take after their father. James Lee is a professor in history at Middlewood College. Marilyn was a student in James’s class when he first taught as a  professor. Marilyn had wanted a life different from her mother who had brought her up singlehandedly. It  was 1952, her mother, Doris Walker was the only home economics teacher at Patrick Henry Senior High. Marilyn made a radical request to the principal, she wanted to join the boys to take shop instead of home economics but her request was refused. ‘It was 1952, and in Boston, researchers were just beginning to develop a pill that would change women’s lives forever.’

Marilyn had aspired to be a doctor. When she was three years old, her father left them and it was only after her father had left home, her mother started to teach. ‘Her mother still powdered her nose after cooking and before eating; she still put on lipstick before coming downstairs to make breakfast.’ Her mother had never left her hometown eighty miles from Charlottesville, who always wore gloves outside the house and who always sent her to school with a hot breakfast. Marilyn had wanted to be a doctor and when she earned a scholarship to Radcliffe,  her mother said,

"You know,  you’ll meet a lot of wonderful Harvard men.”

Marilyn met James who was different and was attracted to him.  Her mother did not object when she wanted to quit school to marry James who was a professor finishing his Ph.D. in American history. But her mother had not known that James was Chinese American. It was 1958 , she was going to marry James and for the first time her mother had  left the state of Virginia . When  her mother met James, she told her daughter a few things.

“ You’re sure,” she said,” that he doesn’t just want a green card?”

James was born in California.  Marilyn told her mother. Their wedding was held at the courthouse in Boston. Her mother said to her that she would regret it later and asked her to think about her children and that they would not fit in anywhere and she would be sorry for the rest of her life. Her mother just wanted her to marry someone more like her. That was the last time Marilyn saw her mother.

All his life, James had tried to fit in and had never felt he belonged there even though he had been born on American soil, and had never set foot anywhere else. He made it to Lloyd Academy and despite having spent twelve years at Lloyd, he had never felt at home.  When his children were born, they also were looking different from everyone else  in the neighbourhood and in school. With Lydia gone, both James and Marilyn have to find ways to reconcile their own personal history and try to patch together the remaining pieces of their life . They had not known that all her life, Lydia had been afraid and she had always said yes to anything her mother had wanted from her. Marilyn  had always bought books for her birthdays ‘Read this book. Yes. Want this. Love this. Yes.’ Marilyn had wanted Lydia to be exceptional while James had wanted her to make friends and fit in and he took an interest in her social life.

In the end, it does not matter whether Lydia’s death was  accidental or suicidal, her family will finally try to see her for who she is .

‘ And tomorrow, next month, next year? It will take a long time. Years from now, they will still be arranging the pieces they know, puzzling over her features, redrawing her outlines in their minds. Sure that they’ve got her right his time, positive in this moment that they understand her completely, at last.’

Everything I never told you is a story that will linger in your mind. The narration is rather haunting and it reminds me of the voice in Desperate Housewives, a television drama series for some reasons. Perhaps it is how its author begins telling the story.

‘ Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet. 1977, May 3, six -thirty in the morning, no one knows anything but this innocuous fact : Lydia is late for breakfast. As always, next to her cereal bowl, her mother has placed a sharpened pencil and Lydia’s physics homework, six problems flagged with small ticks.’

Everything I never told you  is an engaging read and it is a thought-provoking and poignant  tale exploring parenthood , familial love, loss and loneliness .  It is a cautionary tale to all parents who must not try to live their unfulfilled dreams or right their past through their children. Celeste Ng has won several awards  for her debut novel. She grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and attended Harvard University and earned an MFA from the University of Michigan.