Modern Love

 In Fault Lines by Emily Itami, Mizuki, a Japanese young woman is married to Tatsuya. She appears to have got it all, a perfect life -two beautiful children, a hardworking husband and they live in a beautiful apartment with views from balconies in Tokyo. Since his recent promotion, his mind never leaves the office, and he comes home late. Mizuki waits up for him, cooks and never complains. Mizuki has a job where she gets to meet clients a few times a week. Her official title is Intercultural Consultant and her main role is to act as tour guide for the foreign visitors and foreigners who have been relocated to Tokyo. She has got the job through her 'glamorous French friend, Eloise, who, despite having lived and worked in Tokyo for years, still assumed everyone around her was as straight- talking as they are in Paris and couldn't understand the constant miscommunications'.

Here is a narrative in Mizuki's voice about examples of miscommunications.

'When she recounted examples, the problem was blindingly obvious -she was hearing 'yes' when her Japanese friends and colleagues were saying 'no'. When we gaze into the middle distance and make sympathetic, affirmative- sounding noises, it means' no'. When we rephrase your question, or agree with your sentiment, it means 'no'. And most obviously, but apparently most perplexingly to Westerners, often the answer ' yes'- clearly, evidently, incontrovertibly - means 'no'. '

- Fault Lines, Emily Itami

Ghibli Studio, Tokyo

While MIzuki had always meant to become a mother, she did not set out to become a housewife. Once upon a time, before Tatsu and the kids she had dreamt of her name in lights.

When she was sixteen years old, her dad had sent her to New York on a student exchange programme. After spending one year attending an American high school , she finds herself at odds with her own culture. While she feels pride in the complexities of Japanese culture, she also feels entrapped with all that has been imposed on her by the culture.

New York was a revelation for her. She was staying with the Michaelsons who were nonchalant about things that would have had her parents keeling over. She was surprised that she could 'do a maths lesson in anything other than a long-skirted school uniform and sometimes there were teachers you could call by their first names and flirt with'. When her host sister, Cassie and her got drunk at house parties, Cassie's father commented that he was glad they had 'had fun and kept it control.'

Cassie's mother's job had something to do with arts sector in the city. She would kiss her daughter absently on the head 'while she rummaged in her bag for the $20 Cassie needed, still on the phone to someone important.'

During her year in New York, Mizuki found out that she had a taste of performing and singing before an audience and liked it. When she arrived home, she could not keep up with her kanji and Japanese studies and was no longer the daughter her parents had said goodbye to. She wanted to pursue her singing dream so she went back to New York for three years before returning to Japan.Her mother wept that her morals had been corrupted by America. Now that Mizuki is a mother, she sometimes feels like she misses her mother even when they sit next to one another.

Marriage was not on her mind until she met Tatsuya. They have been together for sixteen years, which is over half her life. Her elder daughter. Eri is ten going on eleven and her son Aki is four. As it happens in most marriages, the man assumes the role of breadwinner as the woman assumes the role of homemaker. After two kids, they settle into their routine, she feels like she is stuck in a rut.

In her voice, Mizuki muses,

'If i'd had a career, I could change jobs, apply for a promotion, do something. If i'd stayed in New York, I could have had it all couldn't I ? But I am a Japanese Housewife, a proper, old -school job for life, and you only get to choose your colleague once.'

'I love beautiful things, beautiful people , the magnetism of someone you can't take your eyes off. It used to be fun morphing into that person, tending to all the details that make the fantasy, but now I can't imagine it. It isn't as if I've turned into Jabba the Hutt; physically I don't look all that different. But nothing about me is inviting or mysterious or alluring. And where would I be luring anyone to - a den full of Hello Kitty tea sets ? When would I be giving the come-hither eyes - on my way back from the supermarket, on my pink mamachari bicycle, with bags of groceries loaded onto the front and back baskets? In my anorak, dripping wet, at the door of Eri's ballet class with tis distinct children's aroma of funky shoeboxes? '

'One day i'd remember to be both competent mother and radiant beauty. Tatsu would once again be prostrate at my feet and I'd be full of the serenity of Venus. '

‘How many times have I wished I could be outside myself, outside all my limitations and neuroses, so I could make a different decision and live a different life? Now, when I remember what I wanted before I met Kiyoshi, I think it was just to start over, to do it all again for the first time, or maybe not to do it at all. To have a clean slate. To be somebody else. But then there would be no Aki, no Eri, and life doesn’t work like that, does it? So I’m not leaving Tatsu for Kiyoshi, because that might be love, maybe, but it isn’t happiness, not for me or for anybody else.’ 

- Fault Lines, Emily Itami

In the story, Mizuki meets Kiyoshi, a restaurateur and in him, she rediscovers freedom, friendship, a voice and the neon, city lights that she has always loved. To her, Kiyoshi is somebody who's succeeding in doing what they dreamt of doing, an impossible thing. Unlike her 'pedestrian floundering' and failing efforts to pursue her singing dream , his dream is a reality and he is proof that you can build castles in the sky.

Emily Itami's writing is lyrical,dreamy and descriptive.

Here is how the story begins.

'The whole Kiyoshi situation started a long time before he was ever in the picture. The way a calligraphy painting begins before the first black stroke makes it onto the page. Begins when the painter collects together scroll and brushes and grinds up the pigment, or even before that when he (or she- and yet , int this country, it's almost invariably he) has an idea in his head of what to paint. So , the scene was already set, the pigment crushed, the painterly hand posted. '

Emily Itami's writing is also insightful in that Mizuki's musings and observations are totally relatable. For Example, 'On occasions, my whole life can feel like a pile-up of unintended consequences.' I feel that way on occasions too.

Muzuki is torn between her traditional duties and role as a wife and mother, societal expectations of women and her own unfulfilled dreams. Fault Lines by Emily Itami is a modern tale about a mother's love for her children, collision of old and new traditions and a woman's identity. The book is shortlisted for the Costa First Novel Award.

Love Transcends

 

In The Impossible Us by Sarah Lotz, Bee has a successful business repurposing wedding dresses and friends who love and support her. A mail gets misdirected to Bee’s inbox and the sender is Nick, a writer whose career has stalled after early promise and now his marriage is on the rocks. Nick has just ghost written a book for a client whom he thinks is avoiding payment. His viciously funny message that is entitled ‘ What the HELL is wrong with you?‘ and intended for his client ends up in Bee’s box. You would think the mail goes to spam, but Bee actually responds to tell him to double- check the recipient’s address. It does not stop there. Nick responds and then she reciprocates. When another Tinder date turns out to be a nightmarish experience for Bee, she finds comfort in exchanging texts with Nick via email. Perhaps it is easier to rant to a stranger online all your frustrations. Nick is suffering from low self esteem and to top that his wife Poll and his best pal have been carrying on behind him, things cannot be worse. Chance meet with Bee over the cyberspace certainly makes things look less bleak . But should they meet? Maybe they do not want to spoil things as the email exchange is going so well. With some support from Bee’s best friend and Nick’s stepson, they decide to meet. The meeting place is Euston station in London. Nick is from Leeds. That is when things get complicated. In Nick’s world there is no large clock at Euston Station. When they both arrive at Euston Station, Nick explains that he is in this Tweed suit, evidently looking out of place and when Bee does not see him, she thinks that she has been had. Bee decides to block Nick but she misses their exchange so she unblocks him.

The Impossible Us is narrated in two voices, Nick and Bee’s and partly in an epistolary style.

Here is an excerpt in Nick’s narratives.

‘ DESPERATION. HOPE. IN the weeks following what would eventually become known as Euston- Gate, I became overly familiar with those two weeks. I now understand why desperate people find religion, or end up believing in aliens or conspiracy theories. Because sometimes the rational answer doesn’t cut it. Sometimes you have to look outside the box. And my hope-desperation twofer had led me way outside the box, all the way to a Willow Green allotment in fact, where, God help me, I was walking to meet a bunch of people who even the most charitable among us would label “raging nut-job weirdos.“‘

So Nick finds a bunch of people who may have some answers why he and Bee could not meet. It turns out that they are from two different worlds. Both worlds are ‘poisoned with racism, sexism, social and gender inequalities, and capitalism, albeit with subtle differences ( due to the social stigma attached to being a sociopathic greedy bastard)‘ Nick’s world is greener while Bee’s world is technologically more advanced. Nick’s world has Universal Basic Income and Bee sums up his reality as “Quaker capitalism with a side order of socialism“. Both worlds have the Google and the Net but in Bee’s world, it is not subject to reams of privacy legislation. Nick’s world has Elective Euthanasia but does not have Tinder. David Bowie is present in both worlds except that when they compare notes about the albums, they are different. Both worlds have experienced pandemics and they both have Star Wars, Star Trek and the Marvel Universe.

Bee asks Nick:

<Can I come to your semi-utopian world, Nick? Wait, do you have Netflix? >

<Nope>

<Scratch that then>

Here is an excerpt from Bee’s narratives

‘THE WHOLE THING was bonkers, with a capital WTF, but in a weird way it made sense. The Red Flags, his sincerity ( which, deep down, I knew couldn’t have been faked) , the technical glitches that occurred whenever we tried to communicate via methods other than e-mail. Alternate reality and parallel universe theories were part of our DNA and pop culture; even I, a quantum-physics ignoramus, was aware of them. But bizarre as it all was ,it took me a surprisingly short amount of time to stop using the stipulation “if this IS what’s actually happening.” Because, I suppose, adaption and acceptance were also hardwired into our DNA. Nick was right:people needed answers. We needed answers, and this was the only one we had. And, as shallow as it sounds, my overriding emotion was relief at having him back. A missing piece restored in good order. ‘

Imagine two nearly identical world with some differences….

Bee asks Nick :

< Did you have 9/11, Nick>

<???>

<The Twin Towers blown up?>

< Fuck no. Bloody hell Bee>

< So no Iraq War, Afghanistan??ISIS?>

<No>

<Brexit?>

<You mean Biscuit?  No. We are fully in the eurozone>

No wonder Nick keeps mentioning euros.

Big Ben, London

The question is when you know that is your soul-mate, how far would you go for love?

Lotz is imaginative and original in that she makes her central characters go further by looking up the versions of each other in their respective sides of the world. In Nick’s world, there is Rebecca when in Bee’s world, there is Nicholas. With the Internet, it is not difficult to track down each other’s versions in the parallel world. When they locate each other’s version in their respective world, they make contact with their other versions and things get complicated. The whole story is full of twists and turns, it is hilarious and a fun ride. 

The Impossible Us by Sarah Lotz is an excellent read for diehard romantics.

Brighton Railway station

Everybody knows

In Everything I never told you the debut novel by Celeste Ng, Lydia is the favourite child of Chinese-American parents, Marilyn and James Lee who have three children.  The story is set in 1970s Ohio. The story begins with sixteen-year-old Lydia’s death. When her body is found in the local lake, the delicate fabric  that has been keeping the Lee family together is broken, shattering not only her parents’ unfulfilled dreams of their own, sending the family life into disarray. Throughout the years, by their actions, they have unwittingly alienated their son, Nath who has  unsuspectingly turned out to be the one who has been aiming high so he can leave home. Their youngest daughter, Hannah is the quiet observer. She is sweet, sensitive and perceptive. Your heart goes out to Hannah when  she  tries to stay out of the way for everyone in her family. “ All her life, Hannah had hovered at a distance from her brother and sister, and Lydia and Nath had tacitly tolerated their small, awkward moon.” But Hannah  sees things that the parents and her siblings do not see as she is instinctive and a keen observer. Lydia has always been the favourite of their parents. One of the reasons is that she looks like Marilyn except the hair colour. She has blue eyes and dark ink-black  hair instead of  their mother’s honey-blond. Nath and Hannah take after their father. James Lee is a professor in history at Middlewood College. Marilyn was a student in James’s class when he first taught as a  professor. Marilyn had wanted a life different from her mother who had brought her up singlehandedly. It  was 1952, her mother, Doris Walker was the only home economics teacher at Patrick Henry Senior High. Marilyn made a radical request to the principal, she wanted to join the boys to take shop instead of home economics but her request was refused. ‘It was 1952, and in Boston, researchers were just beginning to develop a pill that would change women’s lives forever.’

Marilyn had aspired to be a doctor. When she was three years old, her father left them and it was only after her father had left home, her mother started to teach. ‘Her mother still powdered her nose after cooking and before eating; she still put on lipstick before coming downstairs to make breakfast.’ Her mother had never left her hometown eighty miles from Charlottesville, who always wore gloves outside the house and who always sent her to school with a hot breakfast. Marilyn had wanted to be a doctor and when she earned a scholarship to Radcliffe,  her mother said,

"You know,  you’ll meet a lot of wonderful Harvard men.”

Marilyn met James who was different and was attracted to him.  Her mother did not object when she wanted to quit school to marry James who was a professor finishing his Ph.D. in American history. But her mother had not known that James was Chinese American. It was 1958 , she was going to marry James and for the first time her mother had  left the state of Virginia . When  her mother met James, she told her daughter a few things.

“ You’re sure,” she said,” that he doesn’t just want a green card?”

James was born in California.  Marilyn told her mother. Their wedding was held at the courthouse in Boston. Her mother said to her that she would regret it later and asked her to think about her children and that they would not fit in anywhere and she would be sorry for the rest of her life. Her mother just wanted her to marry someone more like her. That was the last time Marilyn saw her mother.

All his life, James had tried to fit in and had never felt he belonged there even though he had been born on American soil, and had never set foot anywhere else. He made it to Lloyd Academy and despite having spent twelve years at Lloyd, he had never felt at home.  When his children were born, they also were looking different from everyone else  in the neighbourhood and in school. With Lydia gone, both James and Marilyn have to find ways to reconcile their own personal history and try to patch together the remaining pieces of their life . They had not known that all her life, Lydia had been afraid and she had always said yes to anything her mother had wanted from her. Marilyn  had always bought books for her birthdays ‘Read this book. Yes. Want this. Love this. Yes.’ Marilyn had wanted Lydia to be exceptional while James had wanted her to make friends and fit in and he took an interest in her social life.

In the end, it does not matter whether Lydia’s death was  accidental or suicidal, her family will finally try to see her for who she is .

‘ And tomorrow, next month, next year? It will take a long time. Years from now, they will still be arranging the pieces they know, puzzling over her features, redrawing her outlines in their minds. Sure that they’ve got her right his time, positive in this moment that they understand her completely, at last.’

Everything I never told you is a story that will linger in your mind. The narration is rather haunting and it reminds me of the voice in Desperate Housewives, a television drama series for some reasons. Perhaps it is how its author begins telling the story.

‘ Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet. 1977, May 3, six -thirty in the morning, no one knows anything but this innocuous fact : Lydia is late for breakfast. As always, next to her cereal bowl, her mother has placed a sharpened pencil and Lydia’s physics homework, six problems flagged with small ticks.’

Everything I never told you  is an engaging read and it is a thought-provoking and poignant  tale exploring parenthood , familial love, loss and loneliness .  It is a cautionary tale to all parents who must not try to live their unfulfilled dreams or right their past through their children. Celeste Ng has won several awards  for her debut novel. She grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and attended Harvard University and earned an MFA from the University of Michigan.